Richard is interviewed for ProperTop.com - 29th October 2003

ProperTop: Hello Richard, how are you and what have you been up to today?

RH: I am very well. I have been playing a bit of Grand Theft Auto Vice City, plus I’ve done a 75 minute run in preparation for the marathon next year. I would estimate I did at least 7 miles today and I wasn’t that tired at the end so it’s looking OK. I have been taking some time off work, but I think it’s nearly time to get back to it now.

ProperTop: TMWRNJ was quite possibly THE funniest programme on TV ever, why did it have to end Richard? Why?

RH: I am glad you liked it and it was a shame that it ended. Basically that’s all down to Jane Root the controller of BBC 2. Everyone else at the BBC thought we should do another series and we wanted to, but it wasn’t to be. IN some ways it’s been good as we’ve been able to go and do other things, but it was a shame for the double act to come to a halt just when it was starting to get really good.

ProperTop: Do you still keep in touch with Stewart and all the other people involved in the show?

RH: I spent over ten years seeing Stew practically every day, so we don’t see each other as much as that anymore (which is a relief for both of us. However much you like someone that can be a bit excessive. We are still mates and meet up for a drink or a chat every now and again. In fact I am going on his radio show on Resonance FM on Sunday. I also still see Paul Putner, Emma Kennedy, Richard Thomas and Kevin Eldon and Ivanhoe Narona who played David Collins the horse. Haven’t seen Trevor or Natalie for a while, though I still occasionally sing the song about them coming down the stairs when I am in the shower.

We were genuinely all good friends which is one of the reasons the show went so well

ProperTop: Tell us all about your marvelous book ‘Talking Cock’ what’s it all about and does it cover severed frenulums?

RH: Talking Cock is about men and their manhoods. I have been researching the penis for over a year now and the book includes all my findings and observations and there some very funny stuff, and some pretty sad stuff in there. I am very pleased with it. It’s entertaining and informative and I think everyone in the world should read it. For those of you who like the thought of snapping banjo strings, yes, there is some stuff about that.

ProperTop: What’s been the best and worse heckles you’ve received whilst ’on the road’?

RH: With Talking Cock I don’t get many heckles. People occasionally join in with a fact or a question. The worst heckle was from a woman who kept shouting out about me obviously having a small cock when I was doing quite a sensitive and heart-felt bit about size not being all that important. The most audacious “heckle” was in Brighton where a young man fainted when I was talking about snapped frenulums. That was quite hard to follow. I thought he had died for a second.

ProperTop: You’re also writing a film aren’t you? What’s it about and who have you got lined up to be in it?

RH:Actually I’ve binned the film because it was also about penises (Sexually transmitted diseases in this case) and it was all getting a bit too much for me. So it never got as far as being cast,. Someone else might write it now.

ProperTop: What does diphallactic mean? Is it something to do with bat’s milk?

RH: It refers to someone having two penises. Surprisingly common (about one in 100,000 men born with two). Not as good as it sounds though as usually neither penis works.

ProperTop: Who’s funnier you or Stewart? Personally I think it’s you by a narrow margin but I wouldn’t be so crass/ sycophantic as to mention it.

RH: We are funny in different ways and Stew is a much better solo stand up than me. But in all other respects, you are right. I am best. By miles.

ProperTop: What really annoys you?

RH: Increasingly everything. I am getting old. Rudeness and poor service get on my nerves. My internet diary at www.richardherring.com/warming up usually involves stuff that gets on my nerves. Oh the price of Pick N Mix is one thing that really pisses me off. They are ripping us off man

ProperTop: What was the last album you bought?

RH: The one by the White Stripes I think

ProperTop: What’s your favourite baked potato topping?

RH: Cheese and mango chutney. They do a great one at the Tempting Tattie in Edinburgh

ProperTop: Who’s more annoying Paul Burrell or David Blaine?

RH: Paul Burrell definitely. Blaine is quite funny and up front about the way he makes money, but Burrell is a nasty grub who pretends to be above money whilst that is all that interests him. The true definition of friendship and love must be discretion.

ProperTop: Have you ever been to Stockport?

RH: I don’t know. Probably. I’ve been most places in the UK on tour. Can’t remember playing Stockport, but that is no guarantee that I haven’t been there. When you’re on tour each town moulds into one

ProperTop: Where can we see you live next?

RH: I’m doing Carlisle and Street (in Somerset) next month. Not doing too many gigs at the moment, but am planning to do a new show in Edinburgh next year, which hopefully I will tour. Details will be on my website

ProperTop: Are you sure you don’t love me yet?

RH: I will never love you Neil. It is best to be honest at the start about these things.

ProperTop: Your book would make an ideal stocking filler but what would you like for Christmas?

RH: Everyone in the world to buy my book!!!!
I don’t want for much at the moment. I genuinely would just like to have a nice time partying with my friends and family, because in the new year I am going to have to start being really good so I have a chance of completing the marathon in April. Source - ProperTop.com