Lee & Herring explode from two wooden crates and onto BBC2 declaring their intentions to provide things for idle hands to do, after they've finished performing the devil's work, and Rich is overawed at having met Jeremy Paxman off of the telly. Simon Quinlank starts as he means to go on by providing this week's hobby of "Ringing Norris McWhirter At Three In The Morning & Asking Him What The Biggest Leaf In The World Is".
He is deranged.

Stew tells the audience that he has been labeled obsessive & dysfunctional for keeping all his records & possessions in alphabetical order, he has a detailed list of everyone who's said this about him. The celebrated Lee & Herring "Gnat's Chuff" joke is brought to television, as Richard "confuses the art of simile" once again.

Frustrated at his inability to date actual women, and just strings of meaningless gnats, Rich heads off to a dating agency where he is partnered off with Alan Stevens (played by John Thompson) and enjoys a night out quoting Monty Python, playing video games& drinking.
Peter Baynham then pops up as "Peter" to share his recipes from his & brother Charlie's cook book "One is Quite Lonely Actually" - based on Delia Smith's "One Is Fun". First up is Frozen Chicken Lollies, for which you'll need some frozen chicken breast - and a fork.

He also tells us of his thoughts on easy time travel, and how he has fun with words - imagining the name of removal firm "Renta-Crates" is actually an old Greek philosopher. Pete closes by demonstrating his recipe for mouth trifle.

The fruits of your labour are shown now, as Rich & Stew unveil the Gall-Ery - a collection of images brought together by asking listeners to their radio show to send in anything they fancy. This week, the featured pieces of work are Stew's mutilated football stickers, TV Chef Michael Barry, his curmudgeonly face & some food he's prepared, a photo Stew stole off the wall of the Red Lodge Transport Cafe in Norwich of a singing old man, a hilarious arse, and a promotional leaflet from Midland Bank, wondering if you've spoken to Ian Humphreys yet.

This is followed by Rich offering an "I Like Fist Of Fun" badge like this one on the left to anyone prepared to give up their time & create something for them to ridicule, before throwing it into a burning bin. The first of their celebrations of mediocrity is up next, why not try celebrating the mediocrity of Steve Guttenburg with Rich & Stew?

Rich then goes on show his upset that Rod Hull & Emu have split up, and the duo ponder how Rod might cope alone. Suddenly, some worrying pictures of Rich & Stew prancing around naked are flashed on screen.  

When questioned by Rich, Stew explains that these are part of their hidden agenda to establish them as gods of a new world order through the use of subliminal flash frame imagery.

Stewart then launches the first of his "True Fables", this week tackling the inaccuracies of "The Tortoise & The Hare", retelling it as "The Tortoise &
The Man" before Rich recounts his tales of shoplifting - this week he's stolen a biro, a Kinder Egg, and a copy of "Men Of Achievement 1974" - a book
that would appear to a much greater extent within This Morning With Richard Not Judy.

Richard then foolishly compares himself to both The Dukes Of Hazzard & Ice-T.
Stewart corrects him before going on to point out that Ice T's dad doesn't have a caravan, and isn't called "Keith T"
A bit of Somerset baiting ensues before Stew wonders why an educated man like Rich would want to shoplift in the first place.

This provides a link into the "University Of Life" sketch.
Within gross exaggeration, it's pointed out that University can make a person unnecessarily jaded. Weaknesses of the teaching structure are shown & Andrew Mackay (left) as the head of the "School of Hard Knocks" demonstrates what should be taught to help a person.

In conclusion then? All students are wankers.
Rich & Stew then say their goodbyes before jumping back into their crates.