| CHRIST ON A BIKE PRESS RELEASE |
Jesus Christ - Son of God, Saviour of Mankind, Miracle Worker, Superstar.
Richard Herring - short, fat, middle class man from Cheddar in Somerset. Used to be on TV (BBC 2's Fist of Fun and This Morning With Richard Not Judy), but isn't anymore.
At first sight they have little in common. Or do they?
"I'm not saying I'm the new Jesus.... That is for other people to say."
This
year Richard realised that he was the same age as Jesus when he died. (Surely,
this can't just be coincidence). But has he achieved as much as the supposed
Messiah? Some would argue not. But one man dares argue otherwise. The fact
that that man is Herring himself should not be allowed to cloud the issue.
Deluded?
Insane? Arrogant? A blasphemer liable to inflame a holy war? They said the
same about Jesus... And David Icke.... And Charlie Manson.... And Hitler...
And the bloke who sits on the top step at Balham tube station drinking lighter
fluid... That's not the point. The point is that they said the same about
Jesus. If you have ears, you will understand.
"I
intend to find out who Jesus really was, how he would feel about the terrors
that have been carried out in his name and, most importantly, to determine
if he ever actually did walk like a lady and wear a bra"
During the hour Herring will attempt to recreate (and top) some of Jesus's most famous miracles, including turning water into wine, casting out demons, curing a range of maladies (this may cost extra) and feeding the entire audience with one deep fried Mars Bar. (though hundreds may turn up, no-one will leave wanting to eat any more).
"It
is said that faith moves mountains. Using the combined faith of all the people
who come to my show, by the end of August I promise to have moved Arthur's
Seat to Dunfermline."
Special Offer to Journalists - If you recognise me as the new Messiah and more importantly give me a good review or some nice pre-publicity, then you will have a guaranteed place for you and the partner of your choice in my father's house. He's got a very nice bungalow in Cheddar.